What is Consent, and Why is it Important?
Consent is a pretty big deal, whether you're chatting on our platform or hanging out in person. It's all about saying "yes" because you genuinely want to do something.
So, why does it matter so much? Well, here's the scoop: Consent is like the secret sauce that makes sure everyone feels safe and respected—whether it's online or in real life. It's the foundation of a respectful community.
Now, about those consent basics: It's not just about getting the green light to go ahead; it's about keeping the conversation flowing and making sure everyone's on the same page—before, during, and even after you're done doing stuff together.
How Does WeAreX promote Consent?
WeAreX is all about making consent a big deal. We do it by having these clear rules on our Community Guidelines that are like a friendly guide to treating each other with respect, whether we're chatting or hanging out.
And whilst consent is often talked about in terms of physical things or clear violations, there are so many other instances in which consent needs to be respected.
Lying about your age, marital status or whether you’re using contraception
We’re absolutely not saying that married people can’t date or sleep with others because, hello, consensual non-monogamy. But if the information you’re choosing to conceal would impact someone’s choices - for instance, if someone actually wouldn’t go on a date with you if they knew you were married - you are taking those choices away from them. And taking choices away is not in line with consent.
Unsolicited pics
We all know that airdropping someone a pic of your peen on the tube is a criminal offense, but what seems less clear to some people is whether you should start a conversation on a dating app with a tastefully lit close-up of your dangler. The short answer is, no. The longer answer is, absolutely no fucking way and also do you think that lighting is tasteful…? You can’t just assume that because someone is on a dating app that they want to start a conversation by eyeballing your pubey parts - btw, this goes for pussy pics, too. Those are no less offensive than dick pics when sprung as a surprise.
Stealthing
A form of sexual assault, stealthing is when someone tampers with a condom, removes one, or lies about using one without their partner’s consent or knowledge. This is big time deeply illegal and a horrifying thing to do to another human being. If someone wants to use a condom to have sex with you, put it on and keep it on.
Body Language
If someone gives you physical cues, like pulling away, flinching or freezing, don’t assume they’re fine to keep going. Stop and ask them if they’re okay. Reading body language isn’t just something that’s useful for sex, either - you know that thing that happens when you interrupt someone’s conversation at the bar and they sort of laugh awkwardly and turn away? That’s code for “ew, fuck off pls”. Learn to read the signals, and to act accordingly, i.e. stopping what you’re doing, or leaving people alone.
Don’t Push It
If you get someone to say yes to sex, or anything, after asking them twelve times or in an increasingly threatening manner, that yes isn’t really a yes, it’s more of a tactic to try to make the whole horrible experience stop. Top tip: if someone doesn’t say yes the first time, feel free to just back up and leave them the sweet fuck alone.
Celebrate Saying No
Some people are socialised to say yes more than others, and to prioritise the pleasure of other people above their own needs and comfort. This means they might say yes, but really mean “actually no, but I don’t know how to say no”. Don’t feel bad if you’re saying no, and if you’re receiving a no - celebrate it! It's vital that people are able to say no, as only then can you trust that someone saying yes really means it. Helping people to feel comfortable saying no can be as simple as asking “do you have anything you don’t like doing?”
Respect Boundaries
If someone has said that they hate having their feet touched, what are you going to do? Not touch their feet! Amazing - gold star, you’re a consent pro. Don’t make someone explain their boundary, either. It isn’t hot in the moment to have to go through the reason behind some things, not to mention it can trigger traumatic memories.
What Are Some Consent Must-Knows?
Okay, let's break it down:
Always, always ask for the green light before diving into anything physical or intimate.
Respect other people's boundaries and choices. If they say "no," it's a no-go. If they say "yes," that's a green light.
Consent should be a full-on "heck yes!" from both sides, and it can be withdrawn at any point if someone's not feeling it.
Just so you know, consent isn't valid if someone's had a few too many drinks or taken some mind-altering stuff.
And one more thing, make sure everyone involved is of legal age to give that all-important consent.
What Should I Do If I Feel My Consent Has Been Violated on WeAreX?
If you ever feel that your consent has been violated within our platform, please report (link to report) the issue immediately. We take these reports seriously and will take appropriate action to address the situation.
How Can I Be Consent-Savvy in Real Life?
You got it! Being consent-savvy in real life is pretty awesome:
Always, always ask for and respect your partner's green light before doing anything intimate or physical.
Get clued up about what counts as consent and how to set healthy boundaries, and maybe spread the word to your pals.
Be a champ at chatting it out. Encourage open convos about consent with your partners; it's cool to be on the same page.
Be there for survivors of not-so-cool stuff. Believe them, support them, and help them find the help they need. You're making the world better!
Where Can I Find More Resources on Consent?
We recommend exploring external resources and organizations dedicated to consent education and awareness. These resources can provide valuable information and support on understanding and practicing consent in various contexts.